The place where I spend all my time these days...
Needless to say, things have been a little nuts. Hopefully, though, things will get easier once everything is fully unpacked and I don't have to worry about it. I do love our new little house though. I have my desk and a tv set up on the sun porch (the walls of which are half walls and half window, so it can be closed up), so when I am home during daylight hours, I can enjoy the lovely sunlight and beautiful fall air. The weather has been beautiful -- I couldn't ask for anything better! (Side note: It was 83 degrees here today, gorgeous and sunny with no humidity. It is October and a week before my birthday. Two years ago, my first winter in Chicago, it snowed in Chicago a week before my birthday. There are not words to describe how happy I am to be HERE and not there!)
Our cute little house...
Despite how exhausted, overextended, and crazy I have felt, I am still very happy with my decision to be a teacher. Yes, I am in survival mode and I am getting by day to day (I use the analogy that it's like I was hanging from a cliff by my fingertips, and with every day that goes by I have been pulling myself up little by little, so eventually if I just take it one day at a time, I will be standing on top rather than holding on for dear life...) We have had a lot of behavior problems, mostly because these kids' lives are sooo unstructured...a lot of them come from single parent homes, their moms were really young parents, and several live with grandma/grandpa or aunt/uncle. In fact, one lives with his mom and his "stepmom", whom he calls his aunt. He's one of our favorites. :)
Most of the kids are not malicious or bad kids -- they just have some really bad habits -- and it was pointed out to us that if a kid develops a bad habit by repeating the behavior and receiving no negative feedback, it will take repeated good behavior for the kid to develop better habits and break the old. Seems obvious, but it was an enlightening insight, because I am SO tired of repeating, "Justin, have a seat please." "Kelly, turn around and stop talking." "Darrick, BE QUIET!" "Keep your hands to yourself!" As an adult, I expected that I'd tell them something once and they'd just do it. It hadn't occurred to me before that they need to practice the good habits too. We had a faculty meeting the other day, and even though we were discussing behavior issues, I couldn't help but just feel this flood of LOVE for these kids. I mean, I truly adore them and am so happy to spend my days with them -- even though they wear me out. It's the most fulfilling experience I've ever had.
I have been observed by my grad school mentor and by a couple of teachers at school, and all of them have said I'm doing a good job with the classes. It has been a learning process, and every day I think of even more ways to improve things. But my mom pointed out something that made me feel good -- I've never subbed or taught before. I walked into a classroom 6 or 7 weeks into the school year to teach kids who had been with substitute teachers all year, both in Language Arts and Science. They had very little structure and were used to doing nothing in the two classes. Two weeks into my teaching career, my students are engaged in the work, they're listening, they're participating, and they might even be learning something. :) Considering the circumstances (my lack of experience combined with coming in late and learning as I go), I'm doing a damn good job. :) And, the kids like me -- I can be mean, but they all know that I am only mean when I have to be. Several have told me that I'm their favorite teacher. Just hearing that makes it all worthwhile. :)
